Hilarious One Liners

Saturday, March 17, 2012
Posted by Taz

It’s so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

The world is full of people who are ready to think the worst when they see a man sneaking out of the wrong bedroom in the middle of the night.

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutans trying to play the violin.

It is well to write love letters. There are certain things that are not easy to ask your mistress for face to face – like money for instance.

IN the circles which I move, sleeping with woman does not constitute an introduction.

I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose - they should draw the line at goats though.

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's - that's because she changes it more often.

A man ought not to marry without having studied anatomy, and dissected at least one woman.

A man who marries his mistress creates a vacancy in the Position

Sex is an act with sober reflection one recalls with repugnance and even in more elevated mood even with disgust.

The Love Bird is one hundred percent faithful to its mate as long as they are locked together in the same cage.

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It’s a thing no married man knows anything about.

I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.

I would rather go to bed with Lillian Russell stark naked than with Ulysses S. Grant In full military regalia.

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